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Answers For Teens Blog
Thursday, 5 October 2017
Topic: To help you think this through

It's that time of year again - school. Some of you like your studies and some of you don't. Some of you are happy at home and some of you are not. One good thing to do is to keep a journal. Don't write your thoughts on line but in a book with a good old fashioned ball point pen or pencil. Write your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings, your plans, your dreams, your questions, and descriptions. And, then hide your journal. Let it be your private, intimate journal. Let the journal be your hang out for all your feelings. The journal is your private place and only your place. And, if you are having trouble with your school work remember to look up www.khanacademy.org/  these instructors make most subjects easy. Their graphs are terrific.


Posted by answersforteens at 11:49 PM EDT
Thursday, 7 September 2017

September is National Recovery Month. We celebrate those who are in recovery, we hope for those who are trying to be in recovery, and we beseech those who are in denial to see their condition. Melanie Dallas who is a licensed professional counselor says, "What’s most important to know about recovery is that it is always possible. People can and do recover from mental illness, addiction or both, and live healthy, independent and productive lives in recovery. If you’re struggling with mental illness or addiction, don’t wait to get help. The sooner you begin treatment, the sooner you can find hope and recovery."

For those of you who live in a home with a parent, brother or sister who suffer from substance use disorder be good to yourself seek help for yourself. How do you talk to such a person? What can you do to make your life bearable? Go to Alateen, to In the Rooms. Do it on line or go in person to meet others in such a group.

Posted by answersforteens at 11:10 PM EDT
Thursday, 3 August 2017
Topic: Do Yourself A Favor
We all know that when parent(s) is or are taking drugs or drinking too much that they don't often act like parents. Your feelings may be hurt, you may feel embarrassed in front of your friends and you might have to take care of yourself and maybe of your siblings. Remember you are not the only one. There are people who care. One of the places you can go is to your local Boys And Girls Club. There are adults there who volunteer to spend time with you. They will do sports with you, answer your questions - should I date, should I have sex, should I apply to a professional school - and yes, you will get the encouragement you need. Be daring. Do something for yourself. Go for it. Visit https://www.bgca.org/about-us/contact-us

Posted by answersforteens at 3:59 PM EDT
Saturday, 8 July 2017
Let's hear from Judy
Topic: Do Yourself A Favor

I don't know if I have ever told you that I am also the author of THE DRINKING WOMAN REVISITED. As the title suggests it is about women who have a drinking problem. The book's web site has a blog and this month I would like to share with you part of a story a recovering mother submitted. Here goes:

"It was later after I had been in AA for a while that I realized that I am an alcoholic,  that my past family life had had an impact on me, and like those who were alcoholics in my family I too chose to drink. Only then did I make a conscious decision to turn everything in my life over to God and that really made the difference. When they say take your body to a meeting, the rest will follow, that was really true for me.” 

The point is, as I have mentioned before over and over again, alcoholism is hereditary. Be careful. Addiction is hereditary. Feel free to discuss this at an Alanon, Alateen or In The Rooms meeting. By the way for those of you who do not believe in God there is an inner strength, a strong consciousness that will help you. 



Posted by answersforteens at 11:42 AM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 8 July 2017 11:45 AM EDT
Thursday, 1 June 2017
Listen to this story - it will help you
Topic: Do You Fit Into This Scenario?

Nancy’s story:   I am 64 years old, but I used to be a teen.  Really I was young once.  My father was an alcoholic and died at the age of 56.  While alive he made our household miserable. We were poor and he could not hold a job.  My parents had eight children and we lived in a two bedroom house.  I was embarrassed to have anyone come to our house.  Thus, I never dated in high school.  It would have been awful for me.  I lied about my dad’s alcoholism to all my friends; I didn’t want them to know.  One day, in front of about one hundred students, my dad ran over the school swing set while drunk.   My siblings and I simply pretended like it never happened.  When our teachers approached us the next day, we simply pretended like we didn’t know what they were talking about. We were afraid to ask for help because we knew it would anger our parents. So we never asked.  Now at age 64, I wish I had asked.  If you are in a similar situation, please ask for help.  So many people want to help you.  I think there were many that wanted to help me, but I couldn’t ask.  All I had to do was ask, and I wish I had.

The good news is I became a teacher, am married and have children and grandchildren. I worry for my children that the addictive gene is in them. I see it in them.  We talk about it.  Each is a fairly high achieving adult now and I believe a lot of the energy channeled to their successes is from the addictive energy. I think because we talked a lot with our children about the danger of inheriting alcoholism and other drug abuse my children never got into addiction. Today my husband and I have a strong healthy family. If I had to do it over again would I lead my life differently? Yes, as a kid I would have asked for help. I would contact Ala-teen, In The Rooms and the counselors in my school. Need privacy. Don’t want to confide in your school. Ala-teen and In The Rooms are known for their anonymity. Remember get help. Don’t go it alone.

Posted by answersforteens at 1:28 PM EDT
Friday, 5 May 2017

Here are some valuable points on how to manage stress if you live with a parent who is a substance abuser. You might say, “This is easier said than done.” If you think it through you can make it happen.

1)      You are important and therefore your health is important. Repeat this to yourself everyday.

2)      Be sure that you eat healthy foods, exercise and get enough sleep. If your home does not contain enough food find out where you can eat or if you can get an allowance for shopping for food. If you have a part time job put some money aside for healthy foods.

3)      Do you have someone you can talk to about your upsets? If not consider  joining a group that honors your privacy such as Alateen, go as a guest to Alcoholics Anonymous and pour out your hurts. Go to your library and look up the Resource list in FOR TEENAGERS LIVING WITH A PARENT WHO ABUSES ALCOHOL/DRUGS

4)      Be sure to get an annual check up. If your parents don't have a doctor for you ask your school nurse where you can get one. You can tell the physician about your problems at home.

Take good care of yourself. You deserve it.

Posted by answersforteens at 12:44 PM EDT
Monday, 10 April 2017

Easter is in a few days. People who live with addiction tend to use holidays as an excuse to drink and take other drugs. It is tough if you are in such a family. Some teens say they don’t like to join groups. Why should they talk about their problems to other people? It's embarrassing. It is not embarrassing. Your problem is not unique. According to National Association for Children Of Alcoholics "1 in 4 under the age of 18"  suffer living with parents who abuse alcohol and other drugs. "The worst part is, <teens> can't help themselves. "    But groups can. Call (toll-free) at 1-888-554-COAS to learn more about what help is available in your town or on line. Join Alateen, join In The Rooms.

Join. Join


Posted by answersforteens at 10:35 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 10 April 2017 10:38 AM EDT
Thursday, 9 March 2017
Topic: Do You Fit Into This Scenario?

ln our last blog we talked about addiction and heredity. The point is that if you did inherit the propensity for addiction much can be done to arrest the problem. Ginger Katz, a mom, lost her son to addiction. To commemorate his life she has started a group, COURAGE TO SPEAK. Her point is that if you have a problem do not stay silent, speak up. She has written her son's story in  www.sunnysstory.com. Her group can be reached at https://www.couragetospeak.org

Be good to yourself. Take action  

Posted by answersforteens at 4:40 PM EST
Tuesday, 7 February 2017
Topic: Good Advice

As the son or daughter of a person suffering from addiction there are two important points you need to know.

One is that we learn by watching which means we copy or we say "not me" - I will never do that. 

The other is that physically you may have inherited the addiction. In other words once you start drinking and/or taking other drugs your body may crave for more and more. Take a good look at yourself. If you have started down this road join a group with the same problem working to arrest their drug habit(s). You can do it you know you can. If you live out of town or in a place without much privacy then do it on line. A.A. or IN THE ROOMS are good places.

You also need to know that the reason there is an age drinking law and in some states now a marijuan age law is that our brains are not fully developed until (according to the University of Rochester) age 25.

The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until he or she is 25 years old or so. In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part. 

 Be good to yourself.

Posted by answersforteens at 1:00 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, 9 March 2017 4:39 PM EST
Tuesday, 10 January 2017
Topic: Add your comments - go for it
Happy new year to all of you. I hope the holidays went well for you. You may want to know that the Resource Section on this web site has been updated as have the Game Section and Teen Chat section (we all need to have some fun). Lets get back to the Resource Section for a minute. Here are a list of places where you can go for help anonymously. Look it over. Trust me talking to others helps. Obviously the book has a greater and more detailed list but this is a start.  By the way For Teenagers Living with A Parent Who Abuses Alcohol/Drugs is now available as an eBook which means you can look at the info whenever you want if you have it on your cell phone or tablet. It enables you to zero in on the info you need wherever you are. You may also want to visit https://www.recoverymonth.gov/organizations-programs/answersforteenscom

Posted by answersforteens at 3:24 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 10 January 2017 3:42 PM EST

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